After being subjected to domestic abuse, survivors can display a range of behaviours stemming from the associated trauma.
Victim support professionals have long insisted that there is no such thing as classic or “normal” domestic violence victim behaviour or reactions.
However, an alarming trend has emerged in France whereby victims of abuse are being accused of "reciprocal violence in the couple”.
Equally, many family and criminal court judges in France are still not equipped with the training to identify what trauma responses can look like, nor the tools to assess who the real perpetrator is in a situation through looking at the history of coercive control in the relationship.
The myths of the “perfect victim” and "reciprocal violence in the couple”
Following domestic abuse, victims can display a varied range of behaviour. Victims might deny the violence, withdraw into silence, flee and go into hiding, refuse help from police officers or paramedics, cry, scream, yell, throw objects, become incoherent and inconsistent with their story, contact the perpetrator, beg the perpetrator to come back, even apologise to the perpetrator.
All of these are common victim behaviours that are brought about through the complexities of trauma.
Victims might even use tactics - that if viewed in isolation - might look like domestic abuse: physical and verbal acts used in their resistance, defence, and to escape the ongoing abuse and control they have suffered.
Associate Professor Andreea Gruev-Vintila from Université Paris-Nanterre, France’s leading expert on coercive control and domestic abuse trauma says “It is vital that we never examine episodic behaviour in isolation without looking at the history of the relationship and whether there was an intention of one partner to control the other through coercion. When a person experiences this type of severe violence from which they cannot escape, it creates extreme stress and an uncontrollable emotional response: it creates a classic trauma response”.
Dr Gruev-Vintila continues to explain “This is the essence of coercive control: the psychology and behaviours of the victim are shaped by the actions and beliefs of the abuser. The effect of coercive control is devastating: it deprives the victims of their human rights and can produce complex traumas”.
Alarming trend in France: domestic abuse victims are being accused of violence
The body of evidence has established that it is statistically uncommon for women to be perpetrators of domestic abuse. Yet an alarming new research has found that male perpetrators are increasingly claiming that their victims are in fact the perpetrators in the situation, as part of the classic perpetrator strategy known as “DARVO” (Deny, Attack, Reverse the roles of Victim and Offender).
Despite this, more and more victims are being accused of “reciprocal violence in the couple”, or mutual abuse”, by judicial officers and media outlets. This practice not only compounds the trauma for the victim, but it also reveals an urgent need for the establishment of domestic abuse perpetrator identification protocols that take into account the scientific research on domestic abuse including escalation of violence, coercive control, and perpetrator strategies such as “DARVO”.
Ouarda Sadoudi founder of Association HOME who has been working in minoritised communities in France for over 20 years says she has seen this trend increase in recent years. “10 years ago, we did see some rare cases of women being accused of ‘reciprocal violence’ and even some convictions of women for their acts of self-defence, especially migrant women without residency permits”.
“However, since 2018, we have seen an increase in this practice. The reason often cited to us is that the women were acting too ‘aggressively’, or the perpetrator has accused the woman of violence”.
Sadoudi's conclusion from decades in the field is simple “When there is ‘violence’ from women it is usually in self-defence”.
Women of colour and/or foreign-born women are particularly vulnerable to this practice
Although accurate quantitative data on whether women of colour are disproportionately affected by this practice is impossible to obtain in France due to laws regarding racial data collection, Sadoudi, who is also an expert advisor to Women for Women France, says she knows from her work in the field that women of colour and foreign-born women are the primary victims of the “reciprocal violence in the couple” myth.
“This situation mostly arises when the women are either foreign nationals, French women of colour, or when the position of the abuser is viewed as socially superior”, explains Sadoudi.
Sadoudi provides an example "I once worked on a case where the victim was a French engineer of North African descent. She was put in police custody for a few hours and the policewoman said to her ‘you are hysterical, we don't understand anything you are saying. You and your husband can calm down in custody”.
Perpetrators of abuse are often well practised in manipulation and image control and therefore often manage to remain calm and composed in the presence of authorities, whereas victims are often in a state of trauma and displaying a range of trauma-related behaviours.
Women for Women France offers training programs to magistrates, police, and social and health professionals on the subjects of coercive control, DARVO, and the “perfect victim” myth.
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About WFWF
Women for Women France (WFWF) is the creator and manager of the national Online Multilingual Online Resource Centre for all people confronted with domestic abuse and gender-based violence in France. Our expertise is in domestic abuse, coercive control, and migrants’ rights.
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